Besides hot tea, did you know Diet Coke is the most annoying drink you can order from a flight attendant/air hostess/stewardess/oh miss!/sky hag/slut of the skies? Why? Something about the reaction it has with the ice (a separate post devoted solely to airplane ice to come btw)...I stand there for awkwardly long lengths of time, all bored, needy eyes on me taking a break from their super fun Sudoku and I just know they're wondering 'WTF? Will she hurry up and get to my row already? Why is she just standing there?' You wanna know wtf I'm doing? I'm busy watching the foam dissolve painfully slow, having now ample opportunity to contemplate the tortured death of the passenger who ordered it...the passenger who watched me pour liquid cancer into their plastic cup carefully & methodically....and then asked for the whole can.
I struggle to compose myself, using every ounce of energy I've got (given to me by that delicious raw russet potato aka my 'crew snack') to move the cart along one more row. And as I set down another bag of partially-hydrogenated party mix, I wince because I know it's coming. I see 22A start to mouth those two words to me in slow motion as if this were some cruel joke to further drive me to commit my first homicide at 35,000 ft...I attempt telepathy to change the inevitable outcome- How about water, no ice? I'll even get you two beverages! Yes, I'm desperate now, I'll even run for a HOT TEA dammit! Anything but...well, you know. I can't even say it. But my face can no longer hide the horror as this nightmare repeats itself row after row after row.
Amen sister! Preach it!
ReplyDeleteYou're killing me these are amazing!! You ranting about it even makes me feel better like IM the one ranting!!!
ReplyDeleteTina- I'm so glad you made a comment on my site so that I could find your hilarious blog. I don't work as a FA but I fly A LOT so it's really fun reading a perspective from your end. And now I know can know the little things I shouldn't do to make the life of my FA's just a little bit easier. Great blog!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad someone else shares my deep hatred for the foamy Diet Coke! Oh and don't get me started on the hot tea...Great Blog!
ReplyDeleteUGH it's so true. I find if you pour it like you would pull a pint of beer, it's a little more manageable. Basically tip the cup, and pour the diet coke down the side of it, slowly bringing the cup level as it fills up. Give it a whirl. :)
ReplyDeleteFlygirl- I do use that technique but that marginally helps. Another FA told me to pour the shit first, then add ice. No me gusta porque 'the splash'. It's a lost cause and I'm just going to start telling everyone we are out and the only thing I have on the cart is water.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, evil scheming, I love it.
ReplyDeleteI try and surreptitiously hand the entire can to the pax if I feel too lazy to pour it properly. But then if anyone sees it you're screwed.
So, so, so, true. For that very reason (and painful index finger from opening so many cans) I stop pouring. I give them a cup of ice and the can. Take it and do what you will. LOL
ReplyDeleteLove it! I've been a retired sky hag for over ten years now. Don't miss it at all. When I fly I always order diet coke, ginger ale or tea! Ha ha ha!!!
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