PUSH HERE...no here! no no there! no, right here.

Ya know, one reason why I love my job is that I get to feel really, really, really smart when I see everyone else being really, really, really stupid. For example...

'PUSH HERE'. Seemingly, a simple instruction.  Apparently 99% of the flying public doesn't think so. This sign is clearly displayed on the lavatory bi-fold doors on the aircraft in which I work on.  Supposedly, you push on the placard practically shouting these instructions, and WAHLAH! MAGIC! The door folds inward and BAM!...you can now drop the kids off at the pool and hopefully wash your hands. 

Nope, not that simple apparently. It is unfreakingbelieveable the struggles I witness in trying to gain access to the lavatory.  I don't know how 'PUSH HERE' can be confused with 'pull ashtray', 'rotate imaginary handle', 'kick me', 'walk right thru', or any other command.  I kinda get some sadistic enjoyment in watching the horror on the faces of especially the woman in the power suit or the guy reading the Wall Street Journal taking 4-13 attempts to open the bathroom door. They hate that I'm watching them fiddle aimlessly with this rocket science. After the first few attempts, they surrender and look to me in desperation. I'm like God in this moment.  I lift my index finger, and painfully slow, I markedly motion across their field of vision, drawing their attention to the obvious sign. Fake LOL laughter ensues from embarrassment.  My mouth and eyes smile in pity until the door locks behind them and then my true stoic face and rolled eyes now waits for the emergency lav chime to go off instead of a flush because they missed that button RIGHT NEXT TO THEIR ASS too.