The Super Stew

Rewind back to your school days and remember how there seemed to always be that one person in class who had their hand permanently raised? That kid who did extra credit when they didn't need to, the dummy who brought their teachers gifts on holidays, volunteered in soup kitchens after school and the 7 sports teams/marching band practices they juggled effortlessly...the ass-kissers of my youth. Now in my professional adult life, these goody goodies have transformed into adult monsters, into what I like to call the "Super Stews" of the airline industry. There's about a 95% chance that I will work with at least one of these over-achieving weirdos and with a modest 3-6 person flight crew, those odds are maddening.

Let me help you with the obvious.

I'm talking about a sect of super stews who actually piss people off because of their "niceities". For example, this one flight attendant I know (and call in 'dead' for whenever I find out I'll be working with him) meets as many fully capable passengers at the boarding door and asks them where their seat assignment is. They answer him in fear that their seat is about to be changed or something but no, Super Stew emphatically says "Oh, 30B! What a lovely middle seat close to the bathrooms you've got there! Follow me!" and proceeds to lift their heavy luggage over his head before fully capable lady/mister can say anything about it. When a call light dings, he actually sprints up and down the aisles making such a distracting scene to be of service, treating every beverage request as if it were as dire as a medical emergency. He won't let anyone (passengers and crew) do anything for themselves except use the lavatories. I once dropped my pen on the galley floor sitting next to him and he literally dove to pick it up before I even knew I had dropped it. Like for real, he was on the galley floor risking contracting hepatitis for my Bic. This is not being nice people, it's over-the-top coked out maddness if you witnessed it with your own eyes.

This phenomena of brown-nosing is annoying as hell. We're not in high school anymore dude. You're not gonna get the teacher's pet award for wearing your super stew cape to work. This behavior creates an expectation that cannot be met by the bare-minimalists such as myself...and it comes across as offensive and condescending to those who know how to fly. Make no mistake though, I do my bare minimum like a champ and have lovely comment cards to prove it thank you very much.