Boarding Music

I have it out for someone.

The "DJ" who creates the boarding music mix tape we are supposed to play when we herd the cattle into my office aeroplane.

The last 3 tapes have all included Justin Beiber bubblegum blah, and most recently there was a B.o.B. POS thrown in there. It's been creating an environment of even more awkwardness with observations of weird jaw thrusts, neck bobs, and shoulder shrugs.  Must be the Beiber Fever? (sorry, had to) Don't even get me started with the holiday mix....No, they can't put Mariah Carey's, 'All I Want for Christmas' on it but The Chipmunks Christmas, yup, peppered ALL up in there.  Why torture me even more during the boarding process? I'm already not getting paid during it (betcha didn't know that fact) and it's by far THE MOST frustrating part of the job.  At least allow me to drown out the, "I don't know where Row 20 is! HELP AHHH!" (Um, really? No, it's not near Row 6, nope not Row 15 either...try behind Row 19, but in front of Row 21? Maybe? Just try, humor me, I know you don't believe me but I've been trained) with something that makes me not want to kill bunnies. Yes, please have mercy and let me drown out the waah waahs of banality with something like perhaps the musical stylings of Miley Cyrus's, 'Party in the U.S.A' /Hanson's, 'MMMBop'/ and/or anything from the Jock Jams collections I,II,III, or XXXVIII, or even any song on the 'Space Jam' soundtrack will suffice.

I guarantee beatz like these would make the boarding process schizophrenically faster. And they're sweet jamz. I will find this DJ and make the appropriate suggestions for new musak. You're welcome.